Friday, 22 April 2011


When I went to Center Parcs I ordered a drink from a bar called a Peach Christa. This was the bar in the Subtropical Swimming Paradise, and it's always hot in there (it's subtropical, although in the current weather, being outside of it might be nice). We perused the drinks menu and desiced that a Peach Christa sounded like the nicest.

"Peach Crystal?" asked the guy behind the bar. "What's one of them?"

I helpfully handed him the menu. He shuffled off to make us one. It was delicious.

Center Parcs this is not, but it's hot. And my Gosh, is it hot. (It is.) I've been trying to detox on water recently, but in these extreme climates, although water is clearly the best thing to have, you can't help feeling that something's missing eventually. I graduated to squash a few days ago - peach, echoing the heavenly drink of the past - but I still felt that something was missing.

My brain isn't functioning properly. It's too hot.

So, anyway, today on Twitter, a theatre girl mentioned a rave. That's all she ever seems to do - well, that and perform, and date (seems like a good life to me) - but up came the subject of drinking. As I've said various times, I'm teetotal, but that should (in theory) make me more popular, as I'm not likely to be catatonic when there is the need of someone to take care of the slightly intoxicated people. In theory. It doesn't always work out that way - being good, especially on Good Friday, perhaps causes a temporary overload? - but since I don't actually mind people drinking, as long as they're safe (that's where I come in, again), I suggested three drinking songs to help her on her way.

Probably not the best of ideas, but they were what came to mind.

What also came up in the conversation was pineapple. We all know the story of pineapple making one's man juice taste good. I'm not a regluar taster of man juice, so I can't confirm or deny that theory, but it sounds plausible enough to believe. So I'll go with that. Cloudy lemonade came up, as well. I'm a big fan of this stuff - it's very bad for you, but I can't help loving it.

Hey, I need one indulgence if I'm not going to drink alcohol.

I wandered downstairs to quench the inevitable thirst. Pineapple juice, of course, was on my mind at the time and, having been roped in to put the shopping away, I knew exactly where it was. But as I poured it into the glass, a wild idea came into my head and, as my halo spun around rapidly like a circular saw on speed, I cracked open a bottle of cloudy lemonade and added that. Pleasingly, a fizzy head appeared and flowed down the outer side of the glass, giving me a little pool on the kitchen table to clean up. That makes it decadent. And that's fun.

I took a sip. Absolutely delightful. Another citrus mix of gorgeousness.

And now I am addicted. To a drink with both natural and added sugar.

I'm going to be high as a kite by this evening, just you wait and see!

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