Anyone who recognises the quote from the title of this post gets a cookie.
So, I went to see intelligent stand-up comedy again last night. The same girl from last time was there, only this time she was also playing a string bass, and looked twice as gorgeous. I endured twice as much teasing from H and some sort of spiritual transcendence when the lovely girl's lovely band played a lovely rendition of a Disney song and still managed to make it sound sexy. Yes, all in all it was a good night...
...except the boy sitting in front of me had a better night.
I was transfixed by his back. Not that it was particularly interesting, but what was happening to it was - well, appealing. His girlfriend, who was sitting next to him (and had nice hair from what I could see, although I preferred H's plaits), was occasionally reaching around to give him some semblance of the occasional back massage. One-handed, of course, and that's not how you give a real back massage. But it was a very good effort, from what I could see. Not that I'm sure exactly what she was doing, but there was the occasional thump on the back which ends a pressure-point workout.
I miss being massaged - I really do! I've got some problems with my back. The skin there is itchy and scratching it never helps (although I do like it being scratched), and my back is often quite tense. I don't think there's anything wrong with my spine per se, but there's definitely something that's not quite... right about it, and experiencing both TD's naked full back massages and H's quick shoulder massages in the past, I can attest that they certainly unwind whatever it is in me that's... well, wound, I guess. And this guy in front of me was getting a semi-massage from a pretty girl while watching stand-up comedy and cool music?
Stop tormenting me.
Anyway, so after about three semi-massages, and in the clapping break between acts, he grabbed her arse.
No, seriously, that's what happened. He just let his hand fall down to just behind the bench, slid it over and grabbed her arse. Standards, dude, standards! I'd certainly be appreciative of my ladyfriend giving me some back pleasure during stand-up comedy, but if you're going to grope her in response, at least do it somewhere that people aren't going to see! I was directly behind you! I saw everything, up to the point of you hooking your thumb into the little space between belt and top with the bare flesh!
Then again, she may have been doing this. I wasn't in the right position to see.
But, anyway. Now accepting applications for masseuses. Or probably not. I wouldn't trust me either.