Saturday, 26 February 2011

Squeaky Clean

I've only ever had shower sex once and it was so long ago that I actually had to search through this blog to see if it had happened. But, despite loving the shower for the fact that it gives me more epiphanies than everything else in the universe combined, and it is a good alternative to taking a bath (I can't have baths because of my skin, dammit!), I've never masturbated in the shower. Well... until just now.

Despite one of my gay friends' claim that "you can masturbate in the shower" (when I was complaining about there not being enough hours in the day), I've never managed it. It's my thinking space, not my wanking space, surely? But nevertheless, despite my misgivings about masturbating while standing up and the horrific memories of tripping, snatching and ripping the curtain down by accident in a student share house, I decided to give it a go tonight. Scarlet popped up on MSN and, after readily admitting that I was horny, the suggestion that I should try came up. And so did I.

So I went into the shower and started masturbating. As I expected, it didn't seem to work. I was very aware that there was a lot of hot water cascading onto me and, although the sensation can be pleasant, it was distracting. I concentrated on the images and words in my head and, although the blood was pumping, my penis was throbbing and I was moving my hand, nothing else was happening. Water was everywhere, but then again, it's just water. It didn't help.

What I was aware of was that, with every pump, there was a slight sound somewhere between a splat and a splish whenever my hand hit my groin. And since there was a regularity to it, someone listening in might well have been able to comprehend what I was doing. No, this didn't make it any more exciting. So I considered giving up. Soaped myself up, washed my back and front, and then decided to have another go.

Abandoning mny previous thoughts about shower sex and naked ladies in the shower, I just replayed scenes from soft porn in my head. And eventually, after a far-too-long period of trying and a lot of wasted water (I'm a Green Party member, damn it), I did come. Or, at least, I think I did. I felt semen coming out, I hand to hold onto the wall to stop me from falling over, and my penis pulsated as it does when ejaculating semen. But I didn't see any. My immediate thought was that I'd had a dry orgasm... and then the realisation hit me.

I was in the shower. The water would have washed it away.

I'd been in the shower for a long time. I finished washing and stepped out, groping for a towel.

So there we go. One more box ticked; I've managed to masturbate to orgasm while having a shower. But it's hardly a time-saving, multi-tasking exercise. I wasn't able to concentrate on any specific this and, as a result, it took me even more time than it would have if I'd just maturbated to orgasm and then had a shower! But I had to do it at one point, I suppose... and tonight was as good a night as any.

Amd due to the length of the shower as a result, I can truly say that I feel very clean indeed... even if the thing that I've been doing is, technically, dirty.

1 comment:

Scarlet said...

Am I getting the blame for your "long shower"? Woohoo!!!!