I finally, finally managed to see last week's Secret Diary this morning. Was amused to see a TV advert for Gumtree in the mid-programme break. Nice and appropriate, ITV. Well done.
Anyway... I had a really disgusting dream a couple of nights ago. I don't feel entirely comfortable thinking about it, never mind writing about it. Nevertheless, I'll have a go.
Okay, so the main point of the dream is that Rebecca - remember her? - was trying to get me to have sex with her. I'm in no way attracted to Rebecca any more, in any case. Last time I saw her, she was falling apart. And from what I can gauge over the internet, which isn't difficult to do since her footprint isn't a small one, her attitude hasn't really changed much. I can't even remember what having sex with her is like; I've had sex with five ladies since those heady days, and I don't wish to stretch my memory as far as to do so.
Anyway, thankfully I wasn't really into the whole sex-with-Rebecca thing in this dream, and yet I was there and she was naked. And I was putting up a token resistance...
...until she sprayed some sort of nauseating substance from her vagina, which looked like urine. And some even more gross substance from her clitoris (which isn't even a hole), which... well, I don't even know what that was! It looked like... like congealed blood. Dark red, and thick. Ewwwww.
Of course, even my dream-self, who makes irrational decisions sometimes, couldn't stand something like that. I jumped up and shouted at the beaming dream-Rebecca, backing away.
"You are sick, lady! How could you think I'd be into... well, into that? Your way of doing things..." (yes, I actually said "your way of doing things," although why I said that I don't know) "...is just... just wrong!"
At which point I either ran away or woke up. Possibly both. It wasn't pleasant, in any case.
Well, on one hand, I'm glad that didn't turn into a sex dream. And on the other... well, I think I need to go and wash my brain now.