Last night I went to a meeting of slightly kinky and/or alternative Christians called Spiritual Space. James was the only person I knew there, and I'd only met him briefly at the last CCK social I attended, in November. But, adhering to my "more kink, more links" I tried to adopt at the beginning of the year, I thought I'd go along anyway. I arrived just before James and, after brief discussion, I told him that I've recently lost both girlfriend and job, and hopefully a meeting with some like-minded Christians would help me to feel a little calmer.
It worked, to a certain extent. I certainly got along with everyone who turned up (6 of us in total, I believe) and, after discussion, reflection and food, I certainly felt calm, even on the journey home. Whether or not it was the people or the concept or the fact that I managed to escape from my house for a while I'm not sure, but I had an OK time, and considering the state of my mind at this point, OK is about as good as I'm going to get. So thanks for that, God.
TD just turned up to get her stuff. She came up to my room and collected her dresses (I'd forgotten about the dresses, but I'd packed everything else in bags - 5, which she distilled down to 3). We hugged, we kissed, and then we went back downstairs to re-pack the bags. N stood in the hallway, looking a little lost; out came the bags and then TD and N tried to make a decision about who would carry the heaviest. (N won.) I hugged N, I hugged TD, and then they left. I watched their retreating backs until they vanished from sight.
It's one of the most painful experiences of my life. So far, anyway. While I'm still single and unemployed, you could give me pancreatitis or something and beat my record. But, y'know, don't.
Tonight there is another CCK social, which I am going to attend, for the first time as a single man. Here's hoping that it brings me up to "OK" level again. Well, a man can dream.