Sunday, 7 November 2010


I was in church. Having added my name, address, phone number and one of the seven e-mail addresses I have into the paper directory in rather shaky pencil, I handed it to our assistant minister (we don't have a regular one, mind you).

"Is that still your e-mail address?" asked the smiling elder. It was, I saw looking over her shoulder, an e-mail address which clearly routed through the church's e-mail account. If the domain was still functioning, and mail forwarding was configured properly, it should have been working. Our assistant minister replied that yes, he thought it was.

"I'll find out myself," I said, whipping my BlackBerry out of my pocket, and thereby removing the shockingly low-tech method of writing things on paper that the smiling elder had been using - all was balanced in the world once again. "Hold on, I'll open my web browser..."

It's a good thing that I sidestepped at that moment, because I'd clearly forgotten to close Things to excite the Easily Aroused, and lo and behold, there was some rather delicious erotica displayed on my BlackBerry screen. And right behind me were the assistant minister and smiling elder. And in front of me were my grandparents. I think my finger moved faster than Billy Whizz on speed at that point, hitting random buttons - any buttons - to close the web browser. Opened it up again, then, to find the start page winking at me. Phew.

Of course, the recently opened links all had some rather risqué words in them, but at that point I put my BlackBerry cover over the 'phone itself and slipped it back into my pocket.

A few people were looking at me.

"I'll look at it later," I explained.

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