Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Sit Down '98

Rebecca didn't like saying "I love you." Throughout our tumultuous oneandabit-year-long relationship, which consisted mostly of doing absolutely nothing (because, frankly, she is boring), I was the one who said it most. If she did so, it was either sarcastically, or a lie. I remember, specifically, her saying something along the lines of, "I'm going to visit Robin over the Christmas holiday, but I'll come and see you first for a day, because - you know - I love you." She was, in fact, screwing Robin behind my back. Labyrinthine as my mind is, I'd worked it out by this point - but I let her say it. She rarely said it, so even then, I wanted to hear it.

Rebecca didn't like saying "I love you" because, in her words, "it's a bit overdone." Well, it's not, really. Sit Down '98 is overdone. "I love you" is not overdone, especially if you are saying it to someone you genuinely and truly love. In fact, it's a phrase I love myself, because - rather than being something that you can overdo - it's more of an affirmation. A declaration of commitment, and/or feelings. It's perhaps the most powerful phrase in existence (except for "her", which is a very powerful word - I'll explain why in another post, mayhaps), and even if it is used lightly, it's not something that can be overdone.

What she was trying to say - and I picked up on this one as well, although I didn't mention it to her at the time either - was, "I don't love you any more." I'll agree that not saying "I love you" is different from saying "I love you not", but nevertheless, stating that you don't want to say it, when you've been saying it for a while, rings alarm bells, n'est-ce pas?

With TD, I want to say it. I say it every day, even if she's not around to hear it. When I read her stories to lull her to sleep (we are on our seventeenth book; I may put another list up on here when we hit 20), I say it after she falls into Dreamtime (or is that the Night Dragon? Never mind...). I'll say it when she goes on holiday tomorrow, and I'll say it to myself when she's away. And she says it, too. It's been two years and I don't think we'll ever get tired of saying it. I certainly won't, anyway. It can't be overdone... not because I need to say it, but because I want to.

Oh, and despite some of their songs perhaps being overdone slightly, I'll apply "I love you" to James, as well. Sit Down '98 isn't that bad, really. Unlike Rebecca's recent song Is It Too Late To Say I'm Sorry?, which... well... yeah...

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