Monday, 17 May 2010

In the dark of the night...

I know I talk about my dreams too much in this blog, but hell, it's my blog; I'll talk about what I feel like. Anyway, so last night...

I have this recurring dream. It's an odd one and I've seriously no idea where it comes from. It also takes various forms. But the main point of the dream is this: I discover, somewhere either on my hard drive or on the internet, some porn which I know I have seen before, and I know will make me orgasm if I watch it. I understand that this is not an unusual situation, but this supposed porn is unique because:

i) it's hardcore, and I don't really like hardcore
ii) everything is on a black background; there is no discernable scenery, setting or story, and everything (except the performers, who are a straight couple and white) is black, including the floor on which they are presumably having sex
iii) there is always acceptance that I have seen this porn before
iv) I never actually get to watch it

Point three probably relates to the fact that there is some softcore erotica that I've only seen once. There must be. Back in my youth, when I watched late-night Bravo, Channel 5 and L!VE TV, I saw a hell of a lot of softcore movies. Some I liked, some not so much. Some scenes I do remember (and most of them I've reclaimed via the internet), and some are lost in the void on account of the fact that I don't remember the title of the film or (in the case of series) the name of the episode, or simply via the fact that the internet doesn't have the scene available anywhere (hey, it happens). On the occasion that I'll stumble across a scene online that I've seen before, the realisation will hit me.

But hardcore on a featureless black background? That's just strange. I don't even know if porn like that exists, never mind being freely available to watch. I guess it's possible to make, using Chromakey bluescreen technique, but (with the exception of a small clip of Tera Patrick having virtual sex with you, which doesn't count as it's nothing like what I see in my dream) I don't even see how that sort of porn would really work!

And, of course, I never get to see it. Last night I dreamed it again - this time around, I found it in a hidden folder on my hard drive (which is neither there nor anything I've ever had has been; believe me, I checked). I knew exactly what it was, but my little cousins were in the room and I was hardly going to watch porn with them around, was I? I remember trying to chivvy them out of the room, but they wouldn't budge. Very strange.

In any case, if any of you do find some random porn on a plain black background, make sure that you let me know, yes? It may turn out that my dreams aren't entirely unfounded after all.

Although if it doesn't make me cum, I'll be very disappointed.


Twirly Chasis said...

Verrry interestink Mister Ilb... I am sinkink that zis dream is a reflection of your prrreoccupation vis sex generrrally. Ze black background suggests you are not interested in ze details, you are solely interested in ze sex act itself, you have curiosity und vish to see it. But you never actually get to see it... is there circumstances in rrreal life vot is preventink you from realising your full sexual potential?
~ Dr Charlotte Tan

Innocent Loverboy said...

Well, I don't know, doc. I'm hardly in crisis. I have an active sex life, for a start. But, doctor, my taste for soft porn in which there is a lot of detail makes this sort of dream all the more unusual. I'd be interested in your analysis of that...