Monday, 22 February 2010

Open legs. Uh, letter. Open letter.

Dear Sex,

Thanks for having me the other day. Or, more accurately, letting me have you. Again. And again. And, come to think of it, again.

I don't know what you did to my girlfriend, although maybe it was a combination of not having seen her for a while and her parents being away for the weekend. Perhaps it was the chocolate, or maybe it was a generic change in the wind. Perhaps it was just genuine happiness or maybe it was the fact that she felt she had to soothe me before my exam today (which I've already taken, by the way).

But for whatever reason, Sex, I am grateful for the levels of horny you managed to inject into her body. It enabled me to, uh, inject myself into her body too...

[Yeah, sorry about that.]

...and, what's more, you flicked my "sustain erection" switch to the "on" position. Or I just accidentally knocked it while wandering around the Ashmolean. You know, either way. Whatever the reason, it enabled us to have sex either three or four times, depending on what you count as a time. Let's round up and make it five.

In retrospect, this was some of the best sex I have ever had, and so many times in the same day simply put the plucked cherry on top of the rather delicious cupcake.

Thank you, Sex. I look forward to working with you again.

Blue skies,
I. L. B. Esq.

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