Wednesday, 10 February 2010

I'm so terribly sorry about this post.

So, women - on average - kiss 79 people before they marry. That is, according to Cosmo, and they know everything, apparently.

So, Cosmo, this is what? The average woman? No such thing. Every woman? No. Also, all women get married? Hardly.

And then there's the number. 79. So how do you work that one out, then? What do you count as a kiss?

What I'm getting at here is the fact that I spent three years at university being single and willing and I didn't even get one measly kiss, whereas at Woodcraft events we had girls running around with reckless abandon kissing everyone they could find. That includes me, but only once. That I don't count in my grand total of eight people, since technically it wasn't really a kiss. Or if it was, the girl in question can't remember it. She won the contest with the other girl, anyway, with her 71 kisses in a night.

See, do you count that? In any case, I still didn't get many kisses. (On the same night, I snogged the girl I fancied, but that's neither here nor there.)

This is seriously flawed.

Couple that with the fact that Cosmo also puts guidelines for the perfect kiss in that article and you have instant article FAIL. I mean, perfect kiss for whom exactly? Everyone kisses differently, right? And so maybe you're counting only every kiss that takes in all of the tips they've put in, in which case, how could anyone reach 79?

I've always counted a kiss - a real kiss - as something big and meaningful. A nice, tender kiss is one of the greatest things two people can share, and yet this magazine throws out a number like 79 - not only demystifying the hard-to-find kiss (well, I always thought they were hard to find in any case) but inferring that women will go off and kiss many, many people in the indeterminate time 'before they marry'.

Sexist? Maybe that, too.

I may have to write an article myself if this madness keeps up. As if I didn't have enough to do already. I've got lots on my plate, I don't want to have to go all-out with words merely because I'm angry.

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