Thursday, 11 February 2010


So I hit a massive creative/expressive block yesterday which was effectively "cured", eventually, by thrashing about on my guitar for an inordinate amount of time and then having a shower. As I may have mentioned before, I get all my best ideas (nay, all my ideas, full stop) in the shower. Last night, I had an idea. It's completely infeasible, but nice to dwell upon - aren't all ideas like that?

My idea was to get a book published. And don't look at me like that. I'm talking an actual book, rather than self-publishing (although self-publishing is fun; seriously, try it, it's awesome). And this would be a book about all aspects of sex, with broad chapters on subjects like cunnilingus, kink, gender issues, anal sex... you know the general thing.

The twist? Well, that was the thing. My idea was to have each chapter written by a different UK sex blogger, each focusing on their chosen sex-related topic, so in effect, the whole book would be a collection of long blog posts - just with a more specific vein. Sex bloggers, I've tended to find, are an intelligent bunch, and I'm pretty sure that we - I say "we" because I'm including myself in this (very) broad spectrum - would be original and creative enough to write an amazing book, expecially with the wide range of interests and individual styles that bloggers tend to have. In fact, while standing there covered in gel that has the faint scent of sherbet lemons (no, really), I found myself subconsciously thinking of which blogger should write which chapter...

I mean, evidently it's not going to happen. But if it were to happen, we'd need some sort of game plan. It's unlikely that any sort of publisher would be interested (if we aren't including Abby Lee within our writers - technically, yes, she is a UK sex blogger, but I was thinking of slightly less high-profile ones) in such a book, insofar as there are certain types of sex book out there:

i) sex memoirs
ii) sex tip books and sex manuals
iii) erotic novels
iv) er... that's all I can think of

The kind of book I'm thinking of would be filed under "miscellaneous", and therefore there wouldn't be much of an accurate pitch - particularly with all the different styles and topics.

We'd also probably need some kind of sponsorship, especially if we needed to convince a publisher or properly publicise the book, and that's tricky, on account of the fact that we'd need to pimp whoever might be sponsoring us. Of course, if it were a company like Durex then that may not be so much of a problem, especially as one of the topics I wrote on my "List Of Maybe Chapters"™ was "sex toys" and the other was "contraception". Still, specifically tailoring your writing like that isn't easy, and it's also cheating a little. Maybe putting an advert on the inside front cover is a little easier, though. We might also need to find a charity to donate proceeds to. Otherwise people just won't buy it.

And then there's the task of choosing who writes what. As I said, I already have ideas about that, but it would need someone to sort it all out. And collect all the chapters. And edit them and re-check them and set them out nicely. But I know someone who can do that excellently. I had sex with her a couple of nights ago, as a matter of fact.

As I said, it's an idea. It's not a particularly good one, nor is it exactly feasible. But think about it - a blend of talents, differing styles, differing topics, all put together by people linked via the wonders of modern technology with a common interest in the uniting force of good old sexual intercourse! Wouldn't it be cool if it did happen, eh?

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