Monday, 21 December 2009

Review: Durex Play Vibrations (Twinkle Ring)

So, it was TD's birthday the other day, which of course means birthday sex. I'm sure it means other things, too, and certainly a few things stick out in my mind. It's just that they're all related to sex. I'm like that, you see. Anyway, it was my idea to use the Durex cock ring just before we had sex and therefore, there ensued a few minuted of manic fumbling while still erect. Hilarity is not dead, people.

The first thing I noticed about this product is the fact that the packaging it comes in isn't the easiest of beasts to open. Well, okay, maybe it is, but in fairness if you're ripping the thing open (or locating the pull tab) when you're actually raring to go and there's a beautiful naked girl with her legs open right in front of you, you don't actually want to be looking for a way to access the damn sex toy. Anyway, I got it open eventually.

The second thing I noticed is how much bigger my penis seemed once I'd actually put it on. Optical illusion maybe? I'm not entirely sure. I've put a cock ring on before and it's not exactly difficult - a bit of quick jiggery of the foreskin, positioning to put it in place and there you go. It's been a long time since I used a standard one sans glitter, so maybe I'm remembering wrongly, or perhaps I was just looking from a different angle. I looked huge. Maybe I am huge and hadn't noticed before. Or maybe the ring was trapping the blood in the erectile tissue. Whatever the cause, the effect was magnificent.

Apart from that, it just acted like a standard Durex cock ring. It vibrates the penis so there's more sensation and - if you position it correctly - it acts upon the clitoris, so your ladyfriend can have an orgasm clitorally as well as vaginally (go for the G-spot and tickle the anus with a finger and you may get all four at once... although I didn't actually do that; I'm not Plastic Man). It certainly had a cool effect, although a couple of times it slipped into a wrong position, so I had to withdraw, adjust, and go back in. But I guess without some sort of (possibly extremely painful) clip mechanism, it wouldn't stay in place anyway unless you just slide the penis in and keep it in one place. Where's the fun in that?

Orgasms ensued, although I'm uncertain if they were due to the cock ring, and satiated, I withdrew, and then played about with dragging the still-vibrating head around her still-wet pussy lips. Not a bad activity, really.

So what do I think overall? Well, it's very gimmicky, but that adds to the slightly kitsch charm of the thing. And it's almost Christmas, so I guess it's seasonal. But in operational terms, it's just the same as a standard ring. If you like it (then you should have put a...? No, let's not go there.), then you like it; if you don't, you don't.

But you should buy it, anyway, because...

IT'S GLITTERY!

It's got GLITTER in clear plastic! Just how cool is that? It makes no difference whatsoever to how it works, but IT'S GLITTERY! How much better would everything in the world be if it were GLITTERY? It. Sparkles. And. Shines. Fuck me sideways if that's not one of the best ideas in THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.

So, in a nutshell, twinkle back into one's sex life: maybe not. GLITTER: yes, certainly. Can't really find a way to fault that. Cheers, Durex.

4 comments:

ladypandorah said...

Glitter.

LadyP and glitter don't mix. In fact I have a slight phobia about it. It just gets EVERYWHERE! Carpet, hair, skin, eyes, face...everywhere.

And it stays there forever and ever.

I don't mind if it's something like the ring here (hmm...typo- 'sock ring?!') so I guess it wouldn't be so bad.

I'll ring the therapist in the New Year.

Innocent Loverboy said...

You're not a Lush fan then, lady? ;)

ladypandorah said...

I adore Lush. Was in there yesterday getting presents, in fact. My favourite is the Ceriden's (or however it's spelled) Cauldron.

I just bypass the glitter.

The massage bars are good too. But you need to have warm hands for those, and as it's Winter, no such luck with it currently! Roll on warmer times :)

What's your/TD's favourite?

Innocent Loverboy said...

Well, actually I have a penchant for Snow Fairy, but TD doesn't like that one. It has a pinch of glitter in too, now I think about it, so maybe you wouldn't either. I tend to wear it when I'm having a deep clean. You can use it in your hair too, and that works.

My mother and sister like Lush. I got my mother a fizzy bath thing on her birthday.

You'd have to ask TD her favourite. I'm not even sure if she has one. Gah, something I don't know about her! Must seek knowledge!