Friday, 9 October 2009

Got a Feeling?

I spent most of last night with H. We walked around an exhibition and then Euston Station for a while. Following that I went home, called TD and went to bed, extremely tired.

And I couldn't sleep.

This is not unusual for me; I've had insomnia since I was about 6 and have been learning to cope without sleep for quite a while. I've often had nights with about three or four hours' sleep and there are a couple of nightds I've had without any sleep whatsoever. Last night I got about one, I think. I had a lie-in this morning before stumbling to college.

I realised last night, while trying to get to sleep, that there was something keeping me up.

I was turned on. I was really up for it, despite being all sleepy and hardly moving. I couldn't even breathe properly and yet still I just wanted to do it. I felt myself hardening up, and growing and growing more and more. It was probably as hard as it was going to be able to get and yet I couldn't do anything to get rid of it. I sure as hell lacked the energy to deal with it myself, and no amount of turning around or curling up into a little ball was going to get rid of it. So I just lay there, willing myself to actually go to sleep or just switch off the horny feeling.

Of course, what I really wanted was a warm, willing, soft and wet girl to slip it into. But I didn't have any of those.

Fortunately, I have one elsewhere, and I'm going to go and see her tonight. And since I never actually did do anything about how I felt last night, this evening should be... interesting, to say the least.

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