Sunday, 2 August 2009

Ready... steady... go!

Some people say it's all about the chase. Upset by failure and lovesick in my first year of uni (first time around), a friend of mine - who I have since lost contact with, but remember vociferously disagreeing with her because she differentiated men and ladies so staunchly - told me categorically that girls, all girls, like to be chased. This is, of course, based on the solid fact that every girl knows exactly who has a crush on them at all times, cunningly takes notice of how far everybody who has aspirations on them has gone, and never misinterprets the genuinely kind guy giving them a hug or buying them a drink or asking them to dance as being a genuine friend, because they are always trying to get themselves hooked up.

Girls like to be chased, she informed me. Keep trying and eventually she may deign to let you into her life. Hmmm. (For the curious, I did keep trying, and got nowhere. But that's because I'm ILB, evidently.) Reading through her e-mail, it slowly dawned on me that she had nowhere considered the fact that:

a) girls get crushes on boys too
b) some boys don't know how to 'chase'
c) how the fuck does this work, anyway?
d) she had just lost the game

So, apart from being far off the mark, my friend had also verged on the sexist, assuming that for a relationship to start, a boy - always a boy - had to pursue a girl until she gave up and let him take her. Hmmm (once again), wonder if she was born in mediaeval
times? It would explain a lot. As a matter of fact, I recalled the beginning, duration, and end of her first relationship; it started by them accidentally revealing their mutual attraction over IRC. Hardly much of a 'chase', young lady.

I propose a different scheme.

In my way of doing things, girls actually start fancying boys themselves. Instead of sitting in their high towers and wating to be swept off their feet by the first muscular, attractive and brainless stud to come their way, they actively take part in the 'chase' themselves? Or at least do something? Because otherwise, it's always the boy's job, and we - the less-fair (or even laissez-faire) sex - are doomed to initiate everything. Ever.

Hell, in some cases, boys are waiting for girls to do something, because they have a fear of failure. I mean, I've had two relationships and I've never yet asked someone out successfully. Some of the most successful relationships I've seen (not mine) have started with lady throwing herself at man, which of course was exactly what man wanted.

Yeah... I wish. Not likely that will ever catch on, is it? Not while people like my friend are around, anyway.

I wonder if her boyfriend ever got that dinner that he demanded she make for him...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean: all the while I fancied Johnny, he thought I fancied his mate! So when I did, eventually 'throw myself' at him, he was stunned! But in a good way....

Although your hypothesis is sound, this also assumes that

1) Girls have enough confidence to throw themselves at said man without being laughed at.
2) That the man actually likes her.

And women tend to over analyse things, so we will go through the whole 'does he even know I'm alive?!' before doing the throwing.

Only in a perfect world!