Saturday, 6 June 2009

Needlessly Long Review

So, as I promised, here's the review of Durex Play products I said I'd do. The weekend was full of sex (all in the name of science, you understand - the orgasms were just a pleasant side-effect, honest, guv!) and we tried out three different lubes during its course: Heat (which generates heat), Feel (which generates feelings) and Tingle (which... oh, work it out for yourself).
I hasten to point out that I've never used a lube before. For anything. Ever. Apart from the lube that comes in the little square packets to keep condoms wet and natural lube (aka: my tongue), never have used it. So this was a new experience completely and please excuse me if I sound like the sexual equivalent of a n00b.

I could, of course, just give these a mark out of 10, but I'm far too verbose for that...


The first one we tried was Heat, and although I wouldn't say it was entirely disappointing, it didn't exactly do what it said on the tin. Good thing Ronseal made up that advertising campaign before Durex did, I suppose.

The good points of Heat mainly focused around the fact that it felt nice. We actually first used it as a massage oil for my back, just to see if the heat worked. The feeling on my back was very pleasant indeed, but even when TD blew on it, there wasn't any radiating heat. I didn't actually feel it working after a while, either. Still, the massage was awesome, but then again, they usually are.
It's also kiss-safe, and the next time we used it, I put a little on her breasts before kissing them. Again, there was no heat (maybe we are both part lizard - that'd explain a few things...) but the taste was not unpleasant, and the lube made her nipples incredibly tender, so I got a good reaction from the kisses after a while.

There was no apparent effect otherwise, sadly. It felt fine all over the body, but there wasn't really much of the promised heat. And yes, we tried it at different times of the day, just in case! Maybe the problem is that you generate so much heat during sex that you don't actually notice if it's working or not. Never mind, anyway. Next!



We liked this one, so we tried it a few times - just to make sure.

This also takes a bit of time to work, but when it does work, it works very well indeed. There are very heightened sensations during both foreplay and sex - always a good thing - and in any place you put it, it will feel good. I even went so far as to put some in TD's anus at one point (well, why not, I ask?) and she says that felt good, so no complaints there. And it heightens the lovely feeling of a stroke across the skin, as well. Orgasms were had, more than one if I remember correctly, and they were rather explosive - well, they always are, but it's well worth pointing out that they were had and felt great.

I'd like to point out at this moment - and I have her permission to say this as well - that my girlfriend has what one may colloquially term a "tight pussy" (I tried to think of a more innocent way of putting that, but it couldn't be done...). Because of this pleasant fact, the effects of Durex Play: Feel were embiggened, as I put some inside her and then on my cock before making love to her, so the usual feeling that we were one entity was made less apparent by adding more feeling of the in-and-out motion. This was appreciated... it's not a better or worse feeling... just different!

However, what sticks in my mind was that I was (in fact, we both were, but I mentioned it first) very 'aware' of my cock. You know (or maybe you don't, if you're of the fairer sex), you're always aware that you have a penis and such, but I was totally aware of what my cock was doing during sex. At some points, this allowed me to appreciate the feeling of the inside vaginal walls moulding themselves around its shape, but at some points, all I could feel was my erection, because the Feel made it - well, feel - itself. So perhaps there was an element of separation there, ILB with TD as opposed to ILB-with-TD, which I wasn't entirely comfortable with. As I say, it wasn't an entirely unpleasant feeling, but I'd really prefer this one mostly for foreplay. Still, whatever floats your boat, I guess...



Hands-down favourite of us both, this had all the elements to make for great sex and those special times before and after as well. (Yes, please do quote that!)

Tingle works. It takes some time to get going, but it works. One again, I tried this one on various bits of the body, and they made her nipples feel fantastic - not overly tender or too sensitive, exactly, but good. I have to report a smilar sensation once applied to my cock, as well. There is a pleasant gentle sensation which is like a small tickle. For whatever genius-related reason, this is nice while not being too distracting. You can get along with the sex part without your mind and body wandering towards thinking about the odd stuff you've been using - and that's good for couples who really want to pay each other a lot of attention.
It worked on me just as well as her, and when I gave her oral sex following its application (they're all kiss-safe, remember?) I experienced a pleasant taste slightly reminiscent of menthol and peppermint. Fortunately, I like both of those. Interestingly, she tasted more of 'her' towards the labia majora, whereas the labia minora had the minty taste. Maybe that's just where I put it. Anyway, it gave me a chance to mix flavours. Nice.
But the main good poins of the Tingle lube became more apparent during sex itself. I don't know whether it was the lube or me or just luck, but while making love I became aware of a large amount of energy, and we had sex for a much longer time than usual. This is A Good Thing. To top this off, following the resulting orgasm, the tingling feeling returns! Small aftershocks accompanied by a gentle tingle. Yep, that covers all bases - apart from a snuggle, and I can provide those. Happy now?

There aren't really many 'down' points about this one; it is, however, the coldest of the three and, as such, you take a little time getting used to the fact that you aren't smoothing melted ice down your lover's body. I mean, you can do that if you want to, but that's not actually what we were doing. Also, and this is a bit of a disappontment, they made her feel a little numb after sex, so although I went down on her and licked for a while (afterwards as well as before - what? I'm an addict.), she didn't feel it as much as usual. But then again, maybe that's just us being greedy!

So, yes. Those are the three we were sent, and those are the three that we tried. If I were to make a recommendation, I'd definitely be pleased to pimp Tingle and possibly Feel as well. I don't have anything against Heat - it was a good lube, but lacked something in the special effects department, whereas the other two had the BBC Radiophonic Workshop to hand, or some other similar analogy.

Anyway, all that is left is to thank Durex Play for sending me these items, stash them in my secret drawer and look forward to the resulting backlash of people who are going to pcket my front doorstep holding cameras and signs whch say things like "ILB Has Sold Out". Have a nice life, sexy people!


Anna said...

I've only tried feel, but I loveit. Great texture, etc. Maybe I'll give tingle a go!

The Drinker said...

Definitely would recommend Tingle.

Great that these can be used anywhere, and are kiss-safe. I'd always associated lubes with back door lovin' so it was nice to get a fuller picture.

Science is sexy!


Anna said...

Oh and it's water based, so it's safe to use with silicon toys. No idea why the packaging doesn't say that.

Anonymous said...

Woah, you did do science! I'm slow on writing mine up, will do so today :s