Friday, 19 June 2009

Mastication for the nation

Cunnilingus leaves me with a pleasant, slightly salty taste in my mouth, a spot or two on my bedsheets (more often than not it's actually sweat from my stomach, mind you), a satisfed lady (hopefully)... and an odd feeling just behind my teeth, like my mouth isn't going to work for some time.

It's not totally unpleasant. The tongue undergoes a lot of strain, but then again if you hold your own tongue upwards for about twenty minutes it hurts anyway. The odd feeling is in the corners of my mouth, extending to the lips. I feel a bit fish-lipped, and that's pretty much guaranteed to kill the mood almost as much as the fact that I'll have dried lady-cum on my chin (personally, I don't mind that so much, but if I'm going to bury my face in her hair that can amount to unwanted bukkake 101).

Take today, for example. Much oral sex followed by a trip to the shops in order to buy stuff for dinner that my utterly STUPID family didn't already have. All the way to the shops, my mouth was feeling a little funky. Great, and all, but if we were going to have dinner the last thing I'd want to do would be to gag on my Mebeverine. So I picked up some chewing gum at the shop, along with the Dolmio and the cheese I bought purely because the company producing it was called BJ, and popped a couple of those strip-like beasts into my mouth.

I worked them around and around, seeking out the bits that felt odd and chewing them away. This worked surprisingly well, considering it's all done on a whim anyway. It took away her taste, which is a bit of a shame, but for the curious oral sex addict who wants a little light relief post-gratification... Doublemint. It's definitely the one.

Until the gum itself makes your mouth feel odd, and then the cycle begins again. More oral sex, you say? Coming right up!

No comments: