Wednesday, 21 January 2009

Sister's Code

My cousin discovered, while searching down the back of my granny's furniture of all places, a mysterious piece of paper with a diary entry dated from the 5th of March '04... written by my sister.

I didn't even know my sister had a diary. She would have been about 14 when writing this. It's a shallow, slushy piece of writing about her casual boyfriend of the time, claiming she loves him. It's the same sort of thing we all wrote at the age of 14 about people we liked, let's admit it.

But what's disturbing is what's on the other side:

The Code
1. Hug
2. Kiss on cheek
3. Kiss on lips
4. Snog without tongues
5. With tongues
6. "Touching"
7. "Upstairs"
8. "Upstairs + Downstairs"
9. ORAL
10. Full throttle

My cousin, uncle and gran were beside themselves with laughter, and I had to explain the noise when my dad phoned from work at that moment. It was very surreal. Fortunately, I managed to filch the paper away so as not to have my mother read it or somesuch. Not that it matters, my sister is now 19 and this is all in the past - but it did get me thinking. How far do you go before you count it as a stage?

I mean, I wouldn't classify a hug as much unless it's with a person you're involved with. I hug practically everyone; it's a lovely feeling but it's a lot deeper when you're hugging your significant other. If there is a 'code' to be adhered to, why put something you'd do to your mate... or your mother? That's just odd.

I was always told, by my "more experienced, honest I am" friends at the age of 16, that it went like a rounders game, with first base being a kiss and all-the-way being full-on sex. But why the need to classify what you've done anyway? You may as well have a totaliser on your wall if you're going to rate your success by how far you've gone. What should be important is who you've gone with, and why, and more importantly, did it feel good? That's what you should be proud of. 7/10 is more like a school mark. Just not cool, guys.

I've just noticed. 10 = "Full throttle"? What the FUCK?!

2 comments:

JustAnotherBlogger said...

I'd guess that your sister was a fan of 'Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging' - that's where the list came from.

Innocent Loverboy said...

Oh, now that you mention it...