Thursday, 27 November 2008

Z is for... Zs, catching some

The calm feeling that follows love-making works on many different levels, and the age-old (and very unfair) cliché is that men will fall asleep immedately after orgasm, even if their lady isn't satisfied. Of course, the two work together well, but I still don't like the accusation levelled at THE ENTIRE MALE POPULATION in part 2. I mean, where does that leave gay people, then? Do they ALL fall asleep before orgasm? That's some sort of paradox.

I rarely sleep, anyway. I've had insomnia since the age of about 8 and, to be honest, it's a fucking bitch and I hate it, hate it, hate it. On the occasions when I do drop off to sleep, I either have the strangest dreams or get woken up by my body which says something like, "ooh he's getting some sleep - let's hurt him so he'll have to wake up," and follows by making my stomach explode or my head buzz.

The only time I've ever got any decent sleep is when I'm with somebody else. I don't usually have to have had sex, although I love sex and would prefer it, natch. But having somebody there is both calming and relaxing, because:

(i) You're not alone. Any fears or anxieties you have are placated, because there is somebody else and strength in numbers. If, like me, you have an irrational fear of the dark, another person - whether or not they're asleep - is there for you. Nothing's going to happen either way, but there's always the feeling of safety you get.

(ii) You don't need to feel sad. If you do - because everyone does - then there's always somebody there to hold you. And being held, even while crying, is - as we all know - often the best sort of cure. Plus, you're in bed with somebody, so it's much more difficult to feel sad.

(iii) Heat. There's more heat, and if you are naked, there's even more of this than usual. In the winter months, you can feel much hotter when you're entangled with someone else's limbs. Honest. And in the summer months, you're more likely to be hot together, so you've got someone to complain to. Win/win, dudes!

(iv) Sex.

(v) More sex.

(vi) It's easier to sleep after sex. I don't know why - it may be a physical, mental or spiritual thing. Frankly, I don't care what it is. All I know is that I can fall asleep soon (but not immediately - 'cause I care) after sex, and so can she, and I don't tend to sleep much otherwise.

And with the rejuvenation of energy, the relaxation that sleep brings, and the fact that you're getting closer to another day, which will start with you waking up next to someone, this certainly gets a gold star from me, for sure...

Domestic bliss. ILB style.

4 comments:

ladypandorah said...

Re: point (11)...

Completely agree with you there. Over the last few months I've had a tough ol' time and Mister being there with me is what I need him for to placate me. I've even had to ring him to drive about 20miles over to me after he was due to stay with his parents just so I wouldn't have to go to bed as upset as I was feeling.

Re: point (iv) and (v)...

Hell yeah!!

(Congratumalations on finishing your ABCs!)

LadyP x

ladypandorah said...

(ii) obviously I meant...

Innocent Loverboy said...

Obviously. Thanks. Stick around for the last few posts.

ladypandorah said...

Would I be as shallow as to abandon you after coming this far?

No, wait, don't answer that...