Haha, you'd think I was going to write about love! I could (in fact, I do, a lot of the time) but I haven't mentioned sex for a bit, and something came up in the Metro this morning that made me laugh:
The adverts say 'try something new today' - but perhaps showing children 12 sex positions in a bath was not what Sainsbury's had in mind. Dozens of wide-eyed youngsters were given a book featuring the saucy tips for saving water by 'bathing with a friend' during a trip to a local store.
The book also encouraged readers to shave in intimate places, go streaking, chat up strangers and hand out your phone number to five people on the street.
I read that twice to check I wasn't hallucinating (I had only got up half an hour earlier). I did actually read that.
Angry father Andrew Dodd, 37, heard daughter Laura, eight, giggling with friends. "I did not find the book to be offensive, but I thought it was extremely inappropriate to give it to children. On the having fun in the bath pages there were drawings of about 12 sexual positions. The teachers were as horrified as we were then they saw it."
Maybe, but I'd find it amusing back when I was a teacher...
Fay Trussler, headteacher at Burton End School in Haverhill, Suffolk, which took the 42 pupils out of the visit, said: "We informed Sainsbury's and it was understood the book was not age appropriate." Sainsbury's apologied, saying the book - How To Change The World For £5 - was intended for an adult market...
That'll be right.
...and has sent Laura a £30 voucher.
Good on them, I suppose, although this is a good point to suggest that perhaps if we, as the British, were less abashed at this sort of thing, and more open about sex (like our neighbours in continental Europe), then we may have a lot less teenage pregnancy and STD distribution. But you all know that anyway.
I'm secretly hoping Laura buys six of those books with her voucher, though. And sends one to me. I'd like to see what the positions are... because that's how my mind works!