Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Story Time

Once upon a time, there was a rabbit called Simon. He was a very intellectual rabbit, and to prove the point, he wore big round glasses and a blue jumper knitted out of wool. He was so intellectual, he knew how to spell "osteoporosis" and even "floccinaucinihilipilification". He even once went up to his brother, Alvin, and said, "Greetings, Alvin. I am now hippopotomonstrosesquipedalianistic." Alvin hit him.
Simon didn't have any friends, so he was a very sad rabbit. He had one sort-of friend, called Theodore. Theodore liked Simon, but sometimes Simon thought that Theodore was just using him for his brains. Theodore was not very clever; he couldn't even spell "antidisestablishmentarianism". Simon (who was a very intellectual rabbit) had worked this out, but he had Theodore's company, so he didn't complain.

One day, Simon was sitting in school, when the teacher came into the class and said, "We're going outside to play rugby."
"I like rugby," said Theodore.
Everyone got up to play rugby, but the teacher said to Simon, "No, Simon, you are not allowed to play rugby with us, because you are a very intellectual rabbit and therefore no good at sports. You are to stay here," and he closed the door, locking it from the outside, trapping Simon inside the classroom.
Simon ran to the window. He tried to open it, but it was painted shut. Simon, being a very intellectual rabbit, tried to use a chemistry set to synthesise a compound which would dissolve paint, but failed, because there weren't any chemistry sets. Poor Simon was trapped, and he couldn't think of a way to get out.
"Come on, Simon," he said to himself (Simon enjoyed talking to himself a lot, because he desired intelligent conversation). "You are a
very intellectual rabbit, why don't you think of something?" He looked around and saw a radiator and a chair, and had an idea. Walking over to the radiator, he hit his arm against it again and again until he was sore. Then he took the saw and began sawing the chair in half. Two halves make a whole, so he put the hole against the wall, and he went through it and was free!

But Simon's problems weren't over. His teacher and class could see that he had escaped, and the teacher (who, as you may have noticed by now, was evil) raised a hue and cry, and they all chased after Simon. Simon was terrified, and ran as fast as he could, but the teacher, at the front of the pack, was too quick for him. He was just about to reach and grab Simon, but at that moment, Theodore bravely jumped from the middle of the pack and kicked the teacher in the back! This gave Simon some extra time to run, but he knew that they would catch him soon.
He was just wondering what to do when a mysterious vehicle came past.
"Jump in, Simon!" said a voice, and without hesitation, Simon jumped into the vehicle, just as his teacher was getting to his feet. The vehicle sped away into the distance, and Simon was safe. The shock and exhaustion took its toll on poor Simon, though, and he fainted.

When Simon came to, he found himself in a small, bright room full of books. He was surrounded by books, and being a
very intellectual rabbit, he loved books!
"You are awake, Simon?" said the voice, and Simon looked around and saw a tall, friendly-looking man in a smart suit sitting behind a desk. "I knew I had to rescue you. Welcome to my mobile library."
"This is a mobile library?" said Simon.
"Yes," said the man. "I drive my books all around the world. Look out of the window, and see where we are now."
Simon looked out of the window and saw a busy city, full of all different kinds of people.
"It's beautiful," he said. "Where are we?"
"We are in London, said the man in a reassuring voice. "There are many places like this in the world, but no city is the same. London is unique, but so are Helsinki, Tokyo and so many other cities."
"I'd like to travel," said Simon. "I am a
very intellectual rabbit, and I'd love to feed my brain by going travelling."
"Why don't you be my assistant?" said the man. "I am getting old, and my library is too big for me to run all by myself. I need someone to help me, so why don't you stay here? I could do with some company."

Simon agreed, and became the man's assistant. The man (who was very kindly, and was called Dave, by the way) even made Simon a little business suit which made him look very snappy indeed. Simon and Dave travelled all around the world, lending their books to all sorts of people. After all that had happened, Simon was very pleased to have found something helpful to do, which stimulated his mind, because Simon, if I haven't said so before, was a
very intellectual rabbit.


Anna said...

Awww how lovely! And they all lived happily ever after, blissfully unaware that they were named after chipmunks. ;)

IL - I've gone and done a Proper Blogger thing - I've got my own domain name! www. almostdailyexploits.com. This excites me.

lacestockings said...

Awww, I like bunnies

Innocent Loverboy said...

Anna: Thank Glod someone spotted the Chipmunks reference! Good domain name, too. Things like that excite me. I'm such a geek.

LS: Yes, so do I. ^_^

ladypandorah said...

Books are wonderful. I am happy for the bunny rabbit.

I think...