Tuesday, 23 September 2008

From the Gutter Theatrical

[ILB and TD are sitting in the stalls, having obtained some rather dodgy £20 tickets. ILB has gone for a little wander during the interval and returns to his seat, brandishing a programme.]

TD: You got a programme?
ILB: Yes.
[Reflects.]
ILB: [Aside.] I want to understand what's going on in this play, if possible.

[He opens the programme, and for a while, ILB and TD peruse it, not speaking. Much movement.]

TD: Arm?

[ILB raises his arm and places it around her back. He looks down at the programme, reflects.]

ILB: Would you like an ice cream?
TD: No, thank you. Do you want one?
ILB: Nope! I was asking you.

[TD's hand strays towards ILB's crotch. He bristles slightly, relaxes.]

ILB: [Aside.] Blimey! Here, in a theatre?

[TD's hand brushes between ILB's legs. He bristles slightly, tightens his arm around her, relaxes.]

TD: [Aside to ILB.] Does that feel nice?
ILB: [Aside to TD.] Oh yes. That... really does.

[ILB covers his crotch with the programme. We see TD's arm move. ILB bristles more violently, squirms, grins, relaxes.]

ILB: You...

[TD looks at the programme. ILB bristles, reflects, bristles again, relaxes.]

ILB: [Aside to TD.] You bad girl!
TD: Yes.

[ILB bristles, relaxes. Lights in the house go down.]

TD: Are you going to write about that?
ILB: Maybe...
TD: You're thinking of how to write about it, aren't you?

[ILB reflects, grins.]

[Curtain.]

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