Yarr! I be a busy cap'n of late, what with me wench inhabitin' me cabin right now, preferrin' gin over rum fer some reason... but also, I be capturin' food from the Orient by way of fellow pirates, an' they be schemin' fer me treasure to the tune o' £21.50, the scurvy dogs!
Those seaward bandits, the scabrous swabs, the steamin' soufflés... I chanced upon a booty o'gold pieces in my piratical nest egg today, me 'earties, but I can't be affordin' ter spend it all, 'cause me wench deserves the finest o'cusines, arr!
Fer festive watchin's, I be recommendin' Pirates te ye lusty buccaneers. Lesbian wenches an' feared pirate hunters abound, yarr!