But has anyone actually considered getting naked with someone and then not having sex with them? I certainly haven't. It's never been on my mind. If I'm in bed with a girl and we don't have clothes on, there's certainly no doubt in my mind that sex is probably on the agenda.
Warmth transmitted through body heat is usually the order of the day after sex - you practically glow following orgasm, and the calm that follows love-making works on many levels - physically, holding someone's soft, naked body while your body heat creates a kind of warm aura around you both (not to mention mentally, spiritually, and lyrically - except not lyrically. Except if you're a songwriter and you only ever write songs after sex).
There have been times, however, where I've been naked in a bed with a girl and not had sex. Sometimes, I've been lying awake, sexless, next to a sleeping girl, and so my mind has turned to other forms of pleasure, such as:
- Hold their hand. It really is an excellent feeling. Holding someone's hand had always been a sign of affection to me - well, the whole world, really - and actually lying there feeling their hand while you clasp it, maybe for hours, is a brilliant thing to do.
- Listen to their breathing. Deep, heavy breathing - nothing like the ragged, desperate breaths you take during sex. But even, peaceful, calm breaths... relax, it's like music.
- Stroke their hair.
- Spoon. You don't need to be having sex to feel their body against yours. If you clutch them from behind and wrap your body around them, you can share the body heat and feel almost as one.
- Pray. Don't laugh, it works.
- Dream - perhaps just a daydream. It is, after all, what you do when lying awake. Control your own daydreams - just don't think about sex too much or you may not be able to control yourself with the unconscious body! I've had dreams about the adventures I could have with the girl the following day...
- Ruminate on your day. You've been with your lover. Has it been good? Narrate your day's story to yourself, and be sure to finish it off with, "and I'm now lying in a bed, naked, next to ______," just to give yourself a gold star.
"Me time" doesn't have to equal wanking. Therefore, sharing a bed with someone naked doesn't have to equal sex. Why not have a warmth orgasm instead?