Sunday, 2 March 2008

The Sting

An orgasm is pleasurable. We all know an orgasm is pleasurable for both boy and girl. If boy and girl orgasm together, it's mind-blowing. Probably the best sensation ever, despite what may come before and after it. If you're lucky, of course, before it came foreplay with someone you love deeply, and after it comes a wave of calm and relaxation, sinking softly into dreams and falling deeper and deeper in love.

Sometimes, however, the boy's penis hurts.

It's not always after sex. After all, during sex you're inside a nice, soft girl. Despite extraneous circumstances regularly discussed on So Graham Norton and also encountered by devoted boyfriends named after colourful mathematical constructs, it's not the usual thing to suffer an amount of discomfort during sexual intercourse. In fact, the aim of having sex is quite the reverse.

Nevertheless, it's happened to me after masturbation, and once or twice after sex: my penis stings. Not overly evidently, but almost always when I need to use the toilet after an orgasm. It's a sensation that's going to be common to any male readers (even though most of my readers appear to be girls, you never know!), and it isn't a pleasant one. Sometimes, because of the build-up of blood in the erectile tissue, it can even appear bruised.

The best way to get rid of this sensation (if you're not totally grossed out by this post by now) is to take a rather warm (even hot) shower while you are stinging, and pee while in the shower. (Don't be pathetic. Practically everyone has managed to piss in the shower at some point. It's even something of a ritual.) The sensation of the hot water cascading over your naked body is great, and the slight stinging pain coupled with the relief of
micturating (seriously, it's a real word) abates very quickly while in this situation. Try it, it's fun. And for some reason, it feels great.

And, of course, you'll have just had an orgasm. Which also feels great.


Anonymous said...

I swear penises are easier to damage than female genitalia. I think the current score in my relationship is Fractal: 2 injuries, Blacksilk: 1 (and that faded after a few minutes of painful slow thrusting)

Are you guys actually the fairer sex? :)

And thanks for the link-plugging :)

Innocent Loverboy said...

Guys have always been the fairer sex, my dear Blacksilk!

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha, pansies. :P

ladypandorah said...

Penises are extremely delicate...Mister always seems to be adjusting himself; I guess that's half the trouble when your genitalia is on the outside instead of being lovingly protected on the inside.

The only trouble I get is after he's been too vigorous with me, but then that's usually coz Mister's done me back in...again.

Anonymous said...

They are very, aren't they? You'd think with all the thrusting they've got to do they'd be hardier. But I guess it's that lovely velvety skin on the top that gets damaged, it's just so soft and gorgeous.

I get into a bit of trouble after too much vigour, but not my back, I get a rather sore vagina, to tell the truth. But it fades quickly enough that by the time we're at it again it's no more than a niggle.