Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Rockin' the Boat


I once made a friend dream about boatsex - that is, sex on a boat.

It was, of course, somewhat deliberate - we were having a merry little discourse about being on a boat, and suddenly I switched into flirt mode, and said quite innocently, "can we have sex on the boat, in the meantime?"

There's an infamous Jenna Jameson sex scene set on a boat, but then again, given the nature of porn, there's almost guaranteed to be a scene with Jenna Jameson in basically any given situation. In real life, it's much more unusual for one to engage in sexual intercourse in any sort of water transport. Or, for that matter, any unusual situation - as long as you assume from the outset that sex happens on top of a bed.

My experiences stretch as far as being felt up in a jacuzzi - twice, but never actually getting as far as sex in the jacuzzi... we've already agreed, this isn't porn - and, more adventurously, having sex in a restaurant bathroom. But there are a lot of more risqué unusual-places-to-have-sex. One girl I know has done it on a football field, a few in a car (it's cliché, but works), a good few in a tent or two, and who could forget the wonderful moment during a game of "I Have Never" when one of our number said quite cheerfully, "I've never had sex in a bed."

Then we all drank.

I guess what I'm saying here is: has anyone else had this sort of experience? I don't know what's so exciting about it, but it always seems fantastic. Then again, is the discomfort and riskiness of properly positioning yourself in a non-bed place worth it? Surely sex is better when it's comfortable?

I guess my 11-year-old cousin put it best when she said, "In the [primary school] sex education video, they show us this couple doing it on the floor, when there's a perfectly nice bed right next to them! I mean, why?"

We're a very highbrow family.

12 comments:

ladypandorah said...

One of the most erotically charged places was also one of the most uncomfortable. It was in a wood with ouchy acorns/leaves/twigs/general dead stuff poking into our backsides.

Kinda weird, but helluva hot.

ladypandorah said...

erotically charged places *that I’ve had sex* was what I obviously meant to say!

blacksilk said...

Oh, I'm so jealous of both of you! The most exciting place I've had sex is either the floor or my boyfriend's dad's bed. Yawnness. But then we weren't on the same continent during all the sunny bits of the year so I guess we've not really had the chance to try anything outdoors. Far too cold!

Still, we plan, when the weather gets warmer, to have sex up a small mountain :)

Bloody jealous....

How *do* you do the restaurant bathroom type thing anyway? I mean the logistics and all.

Innocent Loverboy said...

Standing, up against a wall orleaning with your hands on a toilet seat.

Girl I was screwing was pretty athletic though, so I guess she could stand holding a position for that amount of time.

Failing that, on the floor in the astride position...

single student said...

I had sex in school a few times which was rather risque!

but would love to do it outside!

or to get it at all these days would be satisfactory!

Jessie said...

Outside is good....sticks and stone become issues.....and sand to a point but hey who doesn't get sand in places when they go to the beach

ladypandorah said...

I adore friskiness at the seaside!

Just beware of sharp, jagged rock edges...I ended up slipping and slicing my shin. Still, I get a smile on my face every time I look at the mark now and remember how it got there ;)

blacksilk said...

No, I mean how do you do the 'both being in the bathroom' bit, I guess. Is there a stealth section? :)

Innocent Loverboy said...

Disabled bathroom. It's the best way - one big room with a lock!

And the fact that you're not meant to use it makes it a bit more risqué. ^_^

ladypandorah said...

You're so naughty, ILB!! Inappropriate use of public areas, whoop!

Innocent Loverboy said...

Not-so-innocent Loverboy. ;)

lacestockings said...

Outside sex is always good, there's always that risk that someone may catch you, even if you think you're in the most secluded area around. I had sex in a car in what I thought was a quiet place untl the policeman politely tapped on the window....

Anyone even had sex on a motorbike? Not while its moving obviously. That would be dangerous.