Thursday, 27 March 2008

Hot Rain (aka: Under The Waterfall)

Jess says:
though not sure its working right this i sit here with a towel wrapped round my head; not the greatest look in the world

ILB says:

It's accompanied with fresh-out-of-the-shower, though... and that's VERY sexy

Jess says:
i'm thinking theres a blog post in there somewhere

I've never been too sure about shower sex... but I have to admit to having indulged in it once, and I also have to admit the thought of it is rather sexy.

Sex in the bath IS sexy. Not only is there the inherent danger of flooding the house should you move too much (therefore necessitating slow, careful sexual intercourse, which feels great and also a little frustrating - you have to follow it up by frantic, hard sex on the bathroom floor, in my opinion). But that's bath sex - it's something you do when you've done anything else. What this post is about happens to be making love while standing under a cascade of temperature-controlled water.

It's something that often happens in softcore films when they've run out of other situations. In these scenarios, the women, who have huge tits, are always pushed against the glass walls of the shower, smushing their breasts against said glass, and that increases their volume tenfold. She is then, invariably, lifted off her feet and pressed against a wall, the man thrusting into her at a steady pace, as she opens her mouth in ecstasy. While this is happening, the shower is going on, thus making both actors wet. It also makes their hair look stupid.

That's not sexy.

I think the attraction of shower sex is the taboo nature of it all - you're clearly not meant to have sex in a shower. There's also the wonderful irony of it all, too - getting dirty in a place where you're supposed to be clean. Plus, all the messy byproducts of sex (not that those aren't fun, but they're a bugger to clean up if you haven't got long) are washed away. But the shower cubicles in real life (especially, I might add, in university halls if you have one of those pod things) are far too small to do any of that stuff you see in the softcore films. (No shower is actually that big...) That, and sex while standing up for too long is painful. And, you know, the stuff they do in the films is physically impossible.

I've had sex in a mercifully large shower before, but we cheated. We had sex standing up for all of four whole seconds before sinking to the floor and carrying on there, her sitting on me. It was good - mind you, sex with her was always good - but the water falling from above was a problem.
You get wet during sex anyway. The act produces love juices from both parties, AND you sweat a lot. You also kiss. The excess water wasn't doing much for me except getting in my eyes, and my eyes hate water. They're, like, super-water-sensitive.

I think by far the sexiest thing about showers, however, is the way you look after you've taken a shower, especially if you're about to go to bed. A soft, moist (but not dripping wet), sultry look works wonders.
In fact, why not combine that after-shower-glow with sex? Once you've had a shower - together - you can dry off, together. And drying each other can be fun. (Incidentally, one of the best feelings is having your hair dried by someone else. I don't know what it is, but it feels fantastic if someone else is wielding the hairdryer...) Then I'm sure you can have hot, safe, dry sex on a bed. If you can make it to a bed after rubbing each other with a soft towel, that is.

There's no need to have sex in the shower to make the most of it, though. Some people have great ideas in the shower. Other people, however, have less great ideas. I heard of this one guy who decided to start a sex blog while in the shower...


Anonymous said...

Ahh...Univeristy showers.... aka Plastic Coffins. Brings back memories of awkward sex; jumbled up, all corners and elbows.

Mister even burnt himself on the hot pipe.

Although I think the scar's faded now, I do like to see the odd marks we are left with from time to time. I have a rather 'lovely' one from our sex on the beach escapde.

(I think I mentioned that before though. Oh well. Always good to remember the summer)

Anna said...

hmm, thanks for the tips! I must confess that shower sex was on my list, but I may have to reconsider now...

I think as foreplay, washing each other might be great. But there are so many other places to try!

Miss Belle said...

Never had shower sex myself, but I have to agree with the wet thing. I hate being wet (kind of ironic really since I swam competitively for 14 years). I can't see how being too wet during sex would be more sexy, just slippery and frustrating.

Anonymous said...

I quite like shower sex....easier to clean up!