Tuesday, 19 February 2008


Even by my standards, this post is gross.

I've been away for a short while - Friday to today - and I neglected to tell any of you that I was going anywhere, whoops! Because of the close proximity to another person (not in that way!), I had to refrain from self-pleasure for a few days. Not that it was difficult (I'm not that dependent or addicted... just, er... slightly hedonistic), but I was barely turned on at all during the whole visit. That's not really surprising in itself... I mean, do any of you other straight people out there get turned on by your best friends of the same sex?

When I got back today, it took me about an hour to get all the computer/internet things I needed to do sorted out (would have been a lot more, but I had access there - only I couldn't post on Innocent Loverboy when anyone could have a look at what I was doing!), and then I thought, "oooh, let's masturbate; I haven't done it for some time." So far, so good.

[20 minutes later]

I've finished. It's everywhere. There's a lot of it. I know that's not very surprising, because there's that widely-spread fact that if you don't ejaculate for ages, you get a stronger cumshot; similarly, if you do so frequently, you get less as you go along (that is, unless you are Peter North). So I wasn't surprised by that...

...the unusual thing was the consistency. It was, and there's no other way to put this, thick. It felt warm and heavy in my hand. It was so thick, it was even somewhat yellow, rather than a translucent sort of white. What's more, it was a bit harder to wipe off, as well. I flickered from sheepish to pleased to sore to a little frustrated, and ended by feeling a little ill.

And then I thought I shouldn't have wasted it, because we really do need to repair some tiles in the bathroom.

I'm trying to think of what could have caused the consistency change. I'm thinking it's all the milkshakes I've been drinking.


Anonymous said...

Er, “coucher avec quelqu’un” already means "to sleep with someone".
Coucher = to sleep (in the non-sleeping sense of course ;-))
So you said: "to "to have sex with someone.""

Just to let you know :-)

But yeah, French is the sexiest language ever...mmmm.

Innocent Loverboy said...

Merci beaucoup.

Princess Kiki said...

ever heard of the mattress mambo?lol

Innocent Loverboy said...

I have now!